Monday, February 3, 2014


I have been working out and eating better. I've promised not to weigh myself until March 1, so I'm really curious to see what my progress is. I know some people don't rely on scales. #showmethenumbers

I feel like time is going by super fast these days. Maybe because Duane getting out the Air Force next year (or sooner) is a factor now. Time definitely was dragging (and not moving. at a complete stop) while Duane was deployed. It's already 4 months since he's been back?!?!?!

Duane is looking into finishing out his contract in the reserves. I'm "yes and no" on this idea. If you finish your contract in the reserves, it doubles your contract.  With all the leave Duane has, he has a little over a year left on his contract. While two years isn't a long time (if he had to double his time), two years seems like a long time to be drilling once a month, possibly getting deployed again, and then being active for 2 weeks every year vs just finishing out this year. On the flip side, the reserves could get us out of Georgia before Spring. Possibly. Which is crazy.

Duane is "planning" our Valentines Day. I know some people are "over" Valentines Day. "You should show love to your spouse all year". Blah blah blah. I'm being dramatic- but if the Air Force wants to make Duane available to me and grant his leave, I take whatever I can get these days. Can't wait to luxuriate outside of South Georgia with my love. At any rate, he is offering no clues. Being overly secretive about everything. I asked what I should wear, he didn't say anything. #bringingallthethings

We went for a "walk" yesterday. It was a power walk for me and a leisure walk for Duane. I think I've mentioned how I don't work out with Duane because he thinks this is a PT test and our job is on the line. He's all the way turned up to a 14.5 when he works out. I aim for an 8. Small steps.

I've been thinking about going back to school to bridge to my BSN. I'm excited to have more opportunities as a nurse. But realistically, I'll probably have to wait until Duane finds out if the reserves is an option or if we'll be staying here for awhile longer.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Weekend Recap: Savannah

Late in the week Duane and I decided we'd take a road trip. It started off as "Let's go to Disney", but we only had two days to spare so Disney seemed a bit too much for just two days. We decided on Savannah!

We left Saturday morning and made it to our hotel.

We stayed at The Thunderbird Inn. You know how people are "foodies", whatever you call people who like to stay at hotels.. that's what I am. I like staying at different hotels. Hotels that have themes, aren't chains and just offer something different. The Thunderbird is a retro hotel. They put moon pies on your pillow and give you free popcorn. (We didn't get ours. I'm salty about it). Their complimentary breakfast buffet is just coffee, juice and Krispie Kremes. Duane loves Krispie Kreme so it was a done deal for us. (It was an OK hotel. Not sure we'd stay there again, but it's in a good location to the sights if you end up in Savannah one day.)

We hopped on a trolley tour and they took us all around Savannah. You could get on and off the trolley at 15 different stops. We didn't have much time because we were only going to be in Savannah for a day. In the future I'd like to explore the different stops, but the tour and an overview was fine for first timers. I would have loved to be a better picture taker on the tour but I wanted to enjoy the sights.

We got off the tour to have lunch. River Street has 20+ restaurants AKA Duane made it his mission to read all the menus that were posted to decide where he wanted to eat. My hungry self was over it after the first 2.5. Randomly, he decided he wanted to eat at Joe's Crab Shack. He's never been.Yay for pina coladas in actual pineapples!

I know all the other bloggers are like OMG OMG Tory Burch Flats. OMG OMG Hunter Rain boots. OMG OMG Toms. Can we talk about when it rains unexpectedly and you have on your brand new fresh out the box Jordans? #firstworldproblems #caughtinmyfeelings #notsharingmyumbrelladuane

After Joe's we walked River Street until we saw the trolley to take us back to the hotel. We just chilled out until dinner. AKA had to beg Duane and promise him diamonds, gold and Carribean drinks and desserts "just like in Barbados" to get him to stop being lazy and explore more.

We went to Sweet Spice. It's rated the #1 restaurant in Savannah right now so I had to try. Yes. I'm one of those people who reads the reviews for places before I try new things. No pictures, but it was delicious Carribean food.. if you're ever in Savannah. It's a smaller restaurant, nothing big or fancy... but we're foodies. We like food from all sorts of places. Duane is from Barbados and I swear while ordering his food, his twice a year accent came out. #boybye #dontactbrandnew

We had every intention of making it to Savannah Smiles (a dueling piano bar) after dinner. Apparently they can play any song on the piano!

What actually happened was, we couldn't find parking near it. When we finally found parking we had no idea where we were in proximity to the bar, we just knew we were on River Street. When on River Street with a designed driver (Duane), drink. I had an adult hot chocolate from one bar and we went to Wet Willies where I had another pina colada. Wet Willies is a "bar" that just sells frozen drinks. You can drink on the streets of Savannah, so why would you want to be couped up in a bar? We walked around for a bit.

Sunday morning we woke up and got ready to come home. Someone tipped Duane off about an Air Force Museum near Savannah. Y'all, my attention span is exactly 3.5 minutes. We've done a lot of exhibits and museums.. and each time I go, I always end up enjoying myself, but never really being able to explain all that I saw. So don't get me to lying about all that I saw, but the National Museum of the Mighty Eighth Air Force is interesting. They had a section dedicated to the Tuskegee Airmen and the first women pilots. It was interesting and not expensive (active duty gets tickets for $6).

I have legit always wanted to stand in a phonebooth like this. I saw it from across the room while looking at another exhibit (remember I have no attention span) and hightailed over. "Duane look!!!", "We have to go!!!" WOMP WOMP. The door was locked. Being outside the booth is a painkiller for now.

And unfortunately we've returned back home to our regularly scheduled work duties in boring middle of nowhere Georgia. Counting down until the next getaway. (Sigh)

Thursday, January 9, 2014

I dreamed my husband went to jail..

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real you wake up and aren't sure what's going on? Last night I had a dream Duane had been arrested in Afghanistan for selling drugs. First off, what the hell? Could you imagine? The dream was so intense. They didn't let him call home for five days and I just remember thinking...

1. How are we going to get through this? I was trying to convince myself, "I got this. It's just a really long deployment. Sort of". Then I was like "Long deployment my ass. THIS IS CRAZY!!!"

2. Wondering if I could send him a phone card to call home. Would we be able to write letters? Do I need a special phone plan? How much does that cost?

3. I'm not going to lie. I thought about divorce in the dream. LMAO. Judge all you want. But I really felt every emotion and I had no idea what to think or do. Somehow he ended up getting only five years in jail. But still, could you imagine if your seemingly innocent never been in any legal trouble before husband went to jail for 5 years for selling drugs... in Afghanistan?!?! It would different if your husband was living the life of crime when you met him. But Duane in jail? I was in shock. Afghanistan?!?! Who the hell did I marry?!?

4. We paid all this money for an engineering degree and this fool wants to sell drugs?!?!?! Is he kicked out the Air Force?!?! Again. I felt all the emotions and I was so hurt he would do that to me.

5. I just remember saying over and over "Please don't let me be pregnant this month. Please don't let me be pregnant". The kid would be 5 or 6 when Duane got out of jail.

6. I realized I had to call my mother and Duane's parents. I called Duane's parents and they didn't answer. Praise the Lord! I didn't know what I'd say. Then I had to call my Mom. How do you even go about telling your parents your spouse was arrested for selling drugs.. in Afghanistan?!!? Not that New Mexico or Idaho would be any better, but Afghanistan is just even more ridiculous. So I said, "Mom, I have to tell you something...". She goes "You're pregnant!?!?!" This is hilarious. Because literally every time I call my mother she picks up with "Are you calling to tell me you're pregnant". But after I told her she just said "Oh baby. I'm sorry". But you could just hear it in her voice the sound of doom and that she was probably thinking, "What the hell is wrong with Duane. We can't even bail him out of an Afghan jail". How many houses do we have to put up for that?

7. I was so afraid for him. My baby is in a cold Afghan jail cell starving to death. (I'm sure he'd be more likely to suffer from a heat stroke, but whatever).

I woke up and Duane really wasn't here.

The only thing I could think to do is call his phone. Because obviously people in jail can have phones. Obviously. Then again, I have watched some episodes of Locked up Abroad and these people can have phones and their spouses can spend the night. So maybe Duane was in one of those luxury prisons.

He picked up in a voice I knew he couldn't really talk.

I could only think, "DUANE IS REALLY IN JAIL?!?!?!" I mean obviously. Where else could he be? Look, I work nights. I can't sleep during the day. I get about 4 hours a sleep a day. I simply can't be expected to think logically at all times. I really thought Duane was in jail.

Turns out he was getting issued gear for work and couldn't talk because there was too much noise in the room. He thought my dream was ridiculous and assured me he was a free man and would be home for lunch soon.

But no, I don't remember Duane leaving the house. I don't remember him hugging me. All I know is I for sure felt like he was in an Afghan jail and our whole life was up in the air because this fool chose to sell drugs.

Meanwhile, last night Duane had a dream he got orders to Seattle. I'm trying to get out of Georgia by any means (but jail), so let's just speak those orders into existence.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Thoughts on people who tell all their business..

I have never been a very open person. I really struggle with blogging sometimes. It's hard to find the balance. I like keeping things for myself. Even with my family. People find out things on a need to know basis. Remember that episode of Cribs where Mariah Carey didn't share her bedroom (I'm taking it way back)? I always thought that was awesome. Everybody doesn't need to know everything or see everything. It's like when people come over your house and open up your closet door? Rude to my life and I really struggle to keep a straight face to seem unphased. In my mind I think, "Ok, let's just act like you seeing where I hang up my things is needed and normal". If everybody opens up all your closets, where do you hide the things you don't want people to see.

Maybe that's the issue. I have things I don't want people to see. I guess it would be real boss of me to admit what these things are. But no. My fear is I'll die and people will have to see some of my hidden treasures. So I certainly hope Duane and I don't die at the same time. I need him to throw away my treasures when I'm gone. I've shown you my whole house, can I just have my closet to myself?  Maybe that sounds ridiculous. But I like having things to myself. I am not an open book.

The amount of boyfriends I had that my family didn't know about? Just about all of them. What is the point of your family meeting a person you're not sure you'll marry? The only reason I can think of? HONESTLY. So incase you go missing they know who to question. But other than that, your family doesn't need to meet everyone you date.

A couple weeks ago my Mother was joking and saying not to get a new car. (She got a new car and the car notes have started to come). I got a new car in February 2012. I just never mentioned it and haven't been home for her to see. "Hey Mom. I got a Scion today!!!" I'm sure people do that. When Duane got his car, he told his parents. Yay for him. Just not for me. My mother would have known about the car when she saw me in it. That just seems normal to me.

So basically..

1. I think it's awkard to tell people your business (depending on what it is).

2. I think it's unreasonable to tell describe your husband in such a way that makes him seem like a douche bag and then get upset when people connect the dots and it appears... he's a douchebag. It's hard to tell someone something and expect them not to have an opinion about it. So while I may need to get something off my chest, there are things I don't want input about. There are ideas I don't want lingering around. People will see married couples having a bad day and assume they are headed for divorce.

But the top reason.. I'm mortified of people finding out embarrassing things about me. If someone has a video of me falling, ok fine. If you have a picture of me when I first wake up, ok fine.

But the other day I was in a situation where an associate (not really) of mine had gotten a nice purse. The room was filled with other people this woman barely even knew. In my mind.. ALL SORTS OF OTHER PEOPLE THAT COULD RUN AND TELL HER BUSINESS. (Says the lady with a blog whose blogging about it now. Exactly why you shouldn't tell people your business). Instead of just accepting the compliments she went on to say it was a make up gift because her husband slept with some other women that he met on Craigslist.

OMG. I could never!!! You'd have to have Duane on video to get that confession from me. Even then, I'd be all "We weren't together then..."

Slept with women.. as in PLURAL. Not that one woman makes it suddenly better. But if Duane was to cheat on me with 5 women, I feel like I'd reduce the number down to 3 during story time with strangers. Or 2. If someone tells you they cheated on you with 5 people, it's really between 10-15. But if someone tells me their husband cheated on them with multiple women. I think of a number as big as 37 and all the woman had herpes and crabs.

Really, I couldn't understand telling everyone that. I'd be mortified. Mortified that people knew my business. And mortified that I was only showing off an MK Bag and not a house after my husband had sex with a small soccer team of Craigslist women.

If we're playing devil's advocate, here we go.. Things I feel like I'd want if my husband cheated on me with multiple woman. (Of course none of these things would make up for being cheated on. But hell, if you're going to stay with a cheater and they offer you a painkiller gift... go big.)

Here's my list:

A house built from the ground

A pony. Not even a regular pony. A white pony with the best hair that knows all kinds of tricks. Like how to "sit pretty". It would have to be an ammazzinngg pony.

A BMW. Not a cheaper model either. I need rims. I want matte black exterior. Then I want to trade it  in about the time I need an oil change. Just because. I'd want to start over fresh to heal my hurt from him being a trifling douche.

But being serious... whatever traits you need to be that much of an open book, I don't have. I like my secret closet of secret things. I wish I could have a bookcase that revolved into a secret room just for me. And when I died, it would just self destruct. Secretly, of course. Is that too intense? The odd part is I live a really boring life. You would think I truly had something to hide.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Being honest about 2013..

I honestly don't have any resolutions. I am much too lazy to recap 2013. So instead, I just have thoughts from 2013 and my favorite pictures.

I graduated nursing school and Duane watched with tearful eyes on Skype.

My weight- I am in horrible shape. I would like to lose weight this year. I need to lose weight. It's hard for me. I struggled this year. Maybe I haven't reached my "breaking point". Maybe I need "help". I need to do something. I'm unsure of what though.

October 2013. The day Duane got back from Afghanistan.

Babies- Duane and I really want a baby this year. Sometimes I feel torn between losing weight and having a baby. I'm scared to admit that. On one hand I feel like fat women have been having babies since the start of time. On the other hand I feel like I should be in better shape before we have a baby. Then I feel like what is the magic number I'd say, "OK we can try now". Whatever happens, I'm committed to eating healthy while pregnant.

Being a military spouse- I am not the best military spouse. Then again, I don't even know what personality traits the "best military spouse" would have. I'd like to cut myself some slack and allow me to just be me. It's OK I hate deployments. It's OK I dislike living in Georgia. It's OK financially I wonder if Duane being in the Air Force is "worth it". I'm thankful for what we have. I'm not delusional. I get that most of what we have is because of Duane's enlistment. I've taken advantage of my milspouse benefits. At the end of the day, I'm there for my husband. It's OK I don't have a smile on my face about the Air Force 24/7. When I allow myself to be a normal person and feel how I feel.. it's easier that way. It's more genuine. For both Duane and I. So that's what I'll do. Forget what all the other milspouses do. I'll never win milspouse of the year and I'm OK with that.

April 2013.. before deployment
Family- I definitely have to make more of an effort to see my family. Even if that means going without Duane. I haven't seen my family in two years. You'd think we lived overseas. When it was vacation time we went to Vegas. When Duane got back from deployment, I wanted to be with him. Obviously. But I do think I have to find the balance, or it could easily be 3 years before I see my family. Which is insane. No excuses. I have to go. I have to make the time.
October 2013. Post deployment.
Finances-  I've come to terms with our finances. I've come to terms with how we spend our money. It's OK that so and so doesn't drive new cars and driving a clunker saved their family 24,000. We drive new cars. That's OK. We're not financially doomed, it just means we cut back in other places to save. It's ok that so and so blogger gave up going out to eat and saved 1,000 a year. We've found a balance of saving for when and If Duane gets out the military in 2015, saving in general and disposable income. Life is too short to only ever order water when you go out to eat. But if that works for you great. It doesn't work for me. Not everyone has the same financial goals.
Career- I've found a job I enjoy that provides for my family... and I can live with that. I can lead a full life never having my "dream job". Nursing is it for me and I'm choosing to make the best of it. Kudos to people who never give up finding their dream job. I spent a lot of my early 20's doing that and I don't regret it.. I just think it's hard to have your cake and eat it too. Now if you have the means to find your passions and can pay your bills... great. Keep searching. But I reached my final stop. Three degrees later I've come to terms with it.

Maybe there is no dream job for me. I had a nice run and now I'm a nurse. My dream is to help take care of my family. I succeed in doing that everyday. I'm excited to not bring my "career drama" into 2014. Am I done with school? No. I'd like my BSN which would open up more doors in nursing and increase my income. But I no longer wonder about law school, interior design, quitting my job and opening an Etsy shop or anything of that sort. I'm a nurse. This is it. I want to be a mother this year and financially, we need my income to do that. I'm so thankful nursing can provide for my child.

Duane- I love Duane. If I got divorced tomorrow, as bitter as I'd be.. I can honestly say Duane was good to me. Everything I wanted, he tried to give me. And what he couldn't give me, he tried his best. But he works hard for me. He sacrifices for me.  He is a good man. He has been good to me since the day we met, but he was good to me in 2013. So good. He was patient, kind and everything he promised he'd be.. even when I was not patient and kind with him. I love Duane.

April 2013. Impressed we got this shot, with alligators in the water behind us.
Friends- I sucked in the friends department. I didn't talk to my "best friend" for a whole year. Maybe we've just grown apart. I don't have ill feelings towards them. Things just got "weird". We grew apart I guess. Maybe I didn't make the effort. Really, it had to be mutual. The phone works both ways. It didn't help when I got through deployment without "friends" or much "support". On one hand.. YAY.. "I got this". On the other- is it completely unhealthy my only "friends" are my sisters and my husband and that I have a bunch of associates? I struggle with this. Feeling like I need more friends and then not following through with it because maybe I'm "normal". Maybe it's OK not to have a lot of friends.
Church- I didn't go to church enough. Beyond church, I didn't read my bible enough. I barely read it at all. I didn't search enough. I struggled with wondering if Christianity is for me. Can I live with being Christian but still believing X,Y and Z although the bible says its wrong. I had big questions but never explored the answers.
Random things- I struggled taking care of the house. We have so much junk. No place to put it. It overwhelms me to go through it. My way of dealing with it has been to reason, "Well PCS soon and then I'll have to go through it". That's a lie. Then I started to wonder where the mess came from. I can't blame it on Duane. He was gone most of the year. Maybe it's really me. Maybe I'm the main reason we can't get organized. Our house was a hot mess in 2013.
Sometime during deployment. Notice the junky table. That was an everyday thing in 2013.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Poor Duane..

Poor Duane has to deal with...

1. My hate for living in South Georgia. I hate this place. I know the milspouses are all, "Bloom where you are planted". I finished nursing school here. I've made friends. We've traveled. We tasted sweet tea and pecans. We cheered for the Georgia Bulldogs. I'm lying. But you get me. Whatever blossoming we could do. We did. I'm over this place and I think I've just reached the point where I can't pretend I don't anymore. Sometimes I think about applying to be a traveling nurse, but then I feel like I absolutely need to be here with Duane when he's not deployed. Also, traveling nursing isn't really conducive to having a baby.

2. All the feelings I feel about not being pregnant. Some days I'm OK with it. Some days I'm not. But on the days I'm not, they are really dramatic days. And then I hold pregnancy tests and ovulation strips in his face and asks if he sees faint lines. He never does. And I'm all, "Of course you don't!!!"

3. Me missing my family. I haven't been home in 2 years. My nieces and nephews range from 1-9. So I have a niece I haven't met. We had to get Christmas gifts and I just cried in Toys R Us. How dramatic. But Duane kept asking me 1,000 times what we should get them.. and each time it was just a reminder of how little I know them and how much I miss them. Dear Duane, I don't know what the hell I should get people I haven't seen in 2 years. All my love, B. And then I got angry with Duane. Selfishly I think it's easier for Duane to be away from his family. Duane and his sister are close, but even when they lived in NJ.. they didn't really talk daily. His other sister lives in Barbados so he can go 5 years without seeing her. This is regular for them. I am reallllllyy close to my sisters. I have 7 nieces and nephews I never see. Duane's parents have come to visit. I may have said some things I regret in regards to the way I "feel". But Duane isn't in the "Haven't seen my family in 2 years club" (and thankfully, I wouldn't wish that on anyone). Yet, I still feel the way I feel. He can't relate to how I feel and occasionally I'm like "You don't even knowwwwww the way I feel boy".

4. The way I look at him when he chews. I can't tolerate the way Duane sounds when he chews. I make him turn on a TV to drown it out. I think he sounds the same way everyone sounds when they chew.. but have you ever listened to someone chewing with no background noise. Then he makes moaning noises (??) when he eats. Like MMMMM. I simply can't deal. Do not pass go. Do not collect $100 Duane.

5. My feelings/thoughts about the Air Force. This is an ongoing daily saga and I've made countless promises to stop talking about the Air Force. Fail. Each time. (Sidenote: My thoughts aren't negative or "bad". They are just... thoughts. Things I wonder about. If so and so got orders, maybe we can get orders too. Are you sure you don't want to _____.)

6. My attitude when my alarm goes off at 8:50PM for work. There was hell... and then there was night shift. I wouldn't mind working night shift to be at home with my babies during the day. But to work night shift just for the hell of it? This is for the birds. I enjoy my job. But I don't enjoy being awake between 10P-6A. I always wake up with the biggest attitude.

I have been a grump lately. So thank you Duane for still being sweet.

Friday, November 22, 2013

"Find your husband laid up with another woman"...

The other day someone said to me, "If you keep working the night shift, you're going to come home and find your husband laid up with another woman. Men don't like their wives out the house". My response was something like, "And that would be fine. If my husband would leave me for trying to make an income for our family, then adios. I can do bad by myself". My income and I can go some other place. We don't need to be here with a pussy.

Maybe that sounds bad. But really, that's how I feel. I'm just not going to sit around in fear of some ridiculous scenario. Truthfully, I wouldn't want to be with a man who rationalized, "My wife is out working making money. Grrrrr. I can't keep my private parts under control. Grrrrr. I'm going to cheat on her when she goes to work. Grrrr. Me, me, me. It's all about me". To me that sounds like a pussy. Ok fine. It sounds like an irrational person who shouldn't be married. I'm unapologetic about my thoughts. I prefer to be with a man who would rationalize, "Obviously my wife would rather be home with me sleeping from 10p-6a. Her current job doesn't allow for that. She's happy. She enjoys being a nurse. She worked hard for her license. I'll see her in the morning and I hope one day she does get an ideal schedule". And then he would roll over and go to sleep like a normal person. And that's what Duane does. That's why I married him. Because we're on the same page. Because we value the same things. Each other being happy. Respecting each other. And not confusing feelings with facts. The fact is, I have a decent job. It pays some bills. But yes, sometimes I do wish I had different hours. But it's simply not possible right now. FEELINGS don't get bills paid.

I really couldn't take anyone seriously who quit their job because "My husband might cheat on me if I don't". I don't have time for that foolish fuckery. You feeling lonely at night= not enough reason to quit my job. Unless you have an income comparable to Jay-Z. At which point, I would certainly quit my job until I found a schedule that worked better for your feelings. We could sit around talking about your feelings all day, brainstorming ways to make you feel better. We can take a break and then do it again. Until then, I'll be at work. We have bills. I value my marriage. But who in their right mind quits their job "so my husband wont cheat on me". If a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. And I'm certainly not going to allow myself to believe my paycheck was the cause of it.  Money is the root of all evil, but no.. some people are just lying dirty whore bags who shouldn't be married and my paycheck has nothing to do with that. But I certainly hope everyone has a paycheck when their whorebag pussy spouse cheats on them. I certainly hope everyone knows that anybody who loves you is going to say.. "Wait. Hold up. We're having some problems and I need to talk to you" before they go "talk about how lonely they are" to someone else in your bedroom.

Another time I was told, "You better start cooking more for that man or he'll leave. And I'm not talking about Hamburger Helper". And again, it would seem like I'm nonchalant. And let him leave. He can take all the pots and pans with him. But he better leave my Kitchen Aid mixer. I really couldn't entertain a husband who was upset about not having a meal on the table each day he got home. Not when I work full time with other stuff going on. Sometimes I cook. Sometimes Duane cooks. Sometimes McDonalds cook. Sometimes we eat cookies and milk because neither of us wants to get up. And neither us of feel cheated by life. Neither of us hold grudges towards the other.

I'm not saying what women should or shouldn't do. I'm saying all marriages are different. But to think the foundation of keeping a man is cooking every night, doing all his laundry and holding yourself back in your career because your hours don't align with your husbands (so omg omg I have to quit).. well, that may very well be the foundation of your marriage. And if that works for you? GREAT. You can invite me to your anniversary party and we can celebrate. Besides, I probably won't cook that night and Duane needs to eat. I hope you have carrot cake at the party. He likes that. Anybody can keep a man, but are you happy? Can you look yourself in the mirror each day with no regret?

I did not stand before my family and friends and make vows that mentioned pot roast, always doing laundry and only working a schedule similar to Duane's. My marriage is trust, loyalty, respect, HUSTLING to make a living for our family when we need to, concern and the downright understanding of.... LIFE IS BUSY. Sometimes you just have to eat a $5 foot long and smile. I have a foot long. You have a foot long. We have two feet of a delicious sandwich. Who cares if it was on a plate at 5PM when you got home. If we mix my lays and your sunchips together we have a delicious treat. And if you have sweet tea and I have lemonade.. We are WINNING. Just the fact that we are together. The fact that we are healthy, happy and alive. That is what we value. So don't make assumptions on what my husband wants or needs.
Life is good over here.

And my favorite picture of us.. Duane on Skype (live from Afghanistan) at my nursing school pinning. Turkey chops and green been casserole (or lack thereof) or making a living isn't going to break us apart. I do think it's funny nobody ever says, "Duane that woman is going to leave you if you deploy again". They seem him being lonely 4 nights a week, but not my months of it. (Granted Duane was lonely in Afghan too. But rational people know what I mean. Lonely is a normal emotion. Sometimes you have to be lonely to eat). I don't make dinner everyday or fold his laundry and suddenly, "Girl that man is going to leave you". It's OK for a man to accomplish things, but a woman should only accomplish them if she can have dinner on the table by 530P, do laundry and be home when her husband is?? Thank gosh I didn't marry your husband. Thank gosh I don't have your ideals. I'd surely be divorced. And apparently out on the street since I would have quit my job for his "feelings".